The Good and the Bad

There is never a down time anymore. Things are constantly happening. I don't know if this is good or bad. I am really trying to believe it is good because if so much is happening, the enemy must be scared and is trying to do everything he can to come at us. HE WILL NOT WIN!! GOD IS THE VICTORIOUS ONE!!! PRAISE GOD. To begin with the good. We went to home group last Wed. Tommy seemed in a mood and it looked as if he just did not want to be there or felt out of place. At the end of the meeting Tommy had a long conversation with our home group leader which was really good because it was about the things that Tommy has been dealing with and the things that have been stirring up within him about the extreme beliefs and action groups involved with these belief's. I am so thankful that he was willing to open up about this to him and be honest. Before we went to homegroup that night I was really struggling with the things that are coming against us and I had decided to open up and put it out there and share and make it corporate for prayer. I never got a chance to do that which was discouraging but I am believing it must not have been the right time to share. Friday as I was working I got a call from Tommy wanting to know our home group leaders cell number. He did not tell me anything else about it. Later he had told me that he had gotton a vision/word and that he needed to share it with our leader. Thank you God that Tommy was faithful in doing this and did not just ignore it. The word basically was about getting yourself prepared. When you go into battle or go against the enemy you have to do preparation work. You are not going to go into a battle and think that you are going to come out of it not having received some battle wounds. You are probably going to get banged around a little and might get a bloody nose, so you have to prepare your body and your mind for this so you will be ready for it when it comes. Now he was able to relate all of this to him preparing himself when he goes and competes in a tournament and share it with that analogy. He was feeling that our homegroup has not really covered what we need to do to prepare ourselves or we have not really covered this, we've just been declaring some of the favors we have been receiving. Which is good to declare what God is doing but with all the words that have been spoken over our church, there is going to be opposition and we need to be prepared. For Tommy to speak this and take the iniative to share this is such a prayer answered for me and I pray that God you will continue to use Tommy in amazing ways. He also shared with me that he felt like he knew what his gifting was by being used in this way to teach. He knew that he had seen this in England as well, that God was using him and speaking to him in a way that he could use his gifting for teaching. Thank you God for showing him that and his claiming it. Especially with the way the England trip went, the way that I responded and basically put the fire out in Tommy by being very condeming and judgemental and jealous and just down right nasty. So thank you God that I am not big enough to sink the boat and that you are much bigger than me and thank you that God you are restoring the desire and plans you have for Tommy and in the way you want to use him. I saw our home group leader this past Friday and talked briefly with him about what Tommy had shared and he said that, that was exactly what has been on his heart and that is exactly how he felt. On Sunday at church, our worship leader stopped and spoke from his heart as well that he believes attacks are coming left and right and that he did not know if it was just his family or if it was everybody but they were being really hit and hit hard. He spoke very sternly about this being a battle and becoming prepared to fight and know what is coming from the enemy and being ready to go against it. Basically it was the same exact things that Tommy had the word about and I told Tommy this last night becuase he was not able to go to church yesterday but he had to work the night before. So later he had called his mom and shared this with her. Thank you God for moving and really working. The bad. Friday night I received a phone call from our oldest daughter and the conversation turned to the worst. She was telling me she really needed the money to get the title of the car switched over and I reminded her she needed money on a very regular basis to pay for car insurance and she said she knew and she had that which she has not been getting paid so I dont know how she has that. She said she did and that I did not need to basically try to get it out of her. In the back ground you could hear her boyfriend being obviously rude towards me and speaking about me. The phone must have been on speaker or something because they were all able to hear what I was saying. So I dropped the money thing because I knew that I could not be pulled into their little game. Our youngest daughter had accidentally found some pictures of our daughter that is on the phone and they were not good pictures at all. I had mentioned this to her and told her that she needed to get them out of the house immediately or I was going to burn them. She had not repeated me saying this and you could hear them whispering in the background and so they obviously all had heard me. Things really deterioated and I knew that I needed to get off the phone immediately because I know my limitations and I was not going to be pulled down to their level and go off and lose it by saying things I would regret. So I hung up and the phone immediately started ringing and she tried to call back who knows how many times. One right after the other after the other after the other. Finally when they called back one of them left a message and said it's o.k. Jesus still loves me. During this time I knew the only thing I could do was pray and so that's what I was doing laying up in bed praying and I know that God's peace was with me becuase I was able to put this aside and not get myself completely worked up about it. She in the mean time had called Tommy's work and said Daddy mommy's not answering the phone, like was is he able to do about it. so he called to see what the deal was. Why she would call him at work for this. Which my immediate thought is she is once again trying to get things stirred up between him and me and make me look like the bad person. I dont know if that is the case but I realise it and give it to you God. So the next day I told Tommy what had happened. He got irate and called our daughter and in a loud stern angry voice told her that the car was not longer hers and that she was not to call our house again, his cell phone, his work and that if she did he was going to get a restraining order against her and basically got after her about choosing that kind of life over her family's and standing by letting them make fun of me, her mother the one that has raised her and done everything for her and not doing anything about it and taking a part in it. He than went off on the whole family being white trash and that he had something for her boyfriend and that he will be sorry and that he will be treated like a man. The anger and issues that has been stirring up were coming out and things were being said in regards to these issues and involved the boyfriend. Anger was obviously speaking. I had lost it earlier in the day with our middle aged daughter and took the Lord's name in vane and as soon as I did it, it was like what did you just do. I can't believe it. It was again a trying day and the attacks are really coming at us in all the areas that favor was spoken. The battle is on and I had just started praying and asking God when all this happend Sat afternoon that we really needed to be covered by the armor of God. I was really feeling we needed everything that is spoken in the bible about this. I believe it is in Ephesians becuase yesterday at church all that was spoken to us, the exact thing that really came to me on Sat. Thank you God. I really do pray for the armor of God over our lives. So God I dont know what to do or how to handle this because I have been praying for her to come back and believing that the prodigal is coming home. How can she come home if we have told her that if she calls or comes by she will have a restraining order against her. Our son thinks that was wrong and is worried that she will never be able to come back because she wont have a place to go. I told him she did have a place that Tommy's parents have told her that and she has choosen against that. So God are we wrong in doing this? Is this the tough love we need to do or are we being completely wrong? God we need wisdom please God show us how to handle this and know what to do. I pray God that you will continue to work in Tommy in regards to his issues and even though there was a step back there I know that God is going to continue to move Tommy forward and I am praying and believeing in this stronghold being completely destroyed. Sat evening was an opportunity to go and pray at somebody's house and with the events of the day I knew that it might be a battle to get there in my head because of not being worthy enough because of the way I acted and the things that happened but I went and it was not hard to get myself there and it was really good and I am so thankful that I could be a part of it. Tommy's mom was there and when we were released to go and pray and do whatever she came over to me and asked if I wanted to walk around with her and just be in agreement together. That meant so much to me for her to do that. With everything that has happened between us and I want to say thank you God for that. I actually prayed and did what I felt led to do and said what came to my mind really hoping that I was speaking what you were giving me and I really felt like I needed to do this and just speak what comes to me and trust God and be faithful. This is what I have been praying for that I would have boldness to speak out and for me to do this and pray out loud in a group like this especially around people who have been on the soaking prayer team and are pretty prophetic this was a huge thing for me. Thank you God for giving me boldness and not being embarrased or ashamed or lettings the lies over ride me. And when I was there there was an individual who spoke out and prayed for the prodicals not only in that house but for ones of people who were there. Not again I believe this was from God and God is still showing me yes it is to come. The finances are still not good at all. We have 24.00 to last until we get paid on Friday and we have had to use all the bill money I set aside for bills for this upcoming time to pay so we could cover the amount that was in the negative in the checking account because of having to pay for all the unexpected things like paying the amount for the car which I have written about. So this negative amount is from that post. So it is Monday and God I am trusting that it will be o.k. I can't myself imagine how but it's not for me to guess or try to figure out, it's for me to trust in my God. I still am waiting to hear back about the job applications that I put in for. So God I continue to give that to you as well. Like I said we are really being hit in all areas. I CLAIM THE FAVOR OF GOD!!!!!!!!!!!. I GO AGAINST THE ENEMY WITH THE FAVOR OF GOD THAT HAS BEEN SPOKEN TO US. I dont know what Christmas is going to look like so I give it to you God. Come Holy Spirit!! Come!!!!.